I don't normally talk politics here at Cinema Styles but with Tuesday being the big day I thought I'd break that rule for once. You see, there are so many good choices here on the ballot in Maryland I just don't know what to do with such an embarrassment of riches. Forget about the two big political parties, it's the smaller ones I'm interested in.
For instance, there's a guy on the ballot here for the Senate named Greg Stillson. Wow, what a guy! He seems like a real friend to the worker. Why just the other day at one of his rallies there he was doing push-ups on the stage. I'm not sure why that should impress me but for some reason it did. And his posters show him wearing a construction hat. A construction hat! You're telling me your going to vote for one of the major party candidates when there's a guy in a construction hat running? You're crazy. Yep, I think ole Stillson is going to really shake things up when he gets elected. I mean really shake things up, like an A-Bomb explosion!
There's this guy, Roger Stuart, whose son I tutor on occasion, who told me not to vote for Stillson but what does he know? He wouldn't know good advice if it bit him on the leg. Why just last year he was trying to make an ice sculpture for a party he was having and grabbed an ice pick far too 
big for the task (that's Stuart, always overcompensating). I told him, "Roger, if you use that pick, the ice is going to break." He just laughed. So I took my silver wolf-headed novelty cane I bought from The Wolfman Society online and smashed a cherished antique vase in his house. "THE ICE IS GONNA BREAK!" I screamed. Later I realized this would have been far more effective had he actually been in the room. He came inside to see what the commotion was, asked about the smashed vase and I was all like, "Uh, that was like that when I got here. I think the dog did it."
But I digress. Back to Stillson. Not only is he a friend to the worker but even the local press loves him. The paper here wrote some nasty stuff about him and then you know what happened? Stillson and his Chief Advisor, Sonny Elliman, met with the editor and all the bad blood went away. Vanished into thin air. How many candidates do you know could completely change an editor's mind just by sitting down and having a chat with him? Once the editor saw how friendly and progressive Stillson was, he immediately changed his editorials. Wow, how can you not be impressed?
Now I don't know about you but I'm looking for a change. I still haven't forgotten how one of our last Presidents surrendered our nation to three aliens from Krypton led by General Zod. Boy, that really pissed me off at the time (although I admit, I did like Zod's energy policy, even if it was unrealistic to expect everyone to start flying under their own power). And how about the President after him, putting in that tape of Bandstand Boogie just when we needed a dry 
scientific treatise on nuclear fusion instead. What arrogance! What disrespect! I know a President who's not A-Number One in my book. If Stillson gets elected to the Senate one day he could run for President and vaporize all our problems in the blink of an eye.
So that's all I'm going to say. Greg Stillson is the candidate for change. A candidate who will push all the right buttons, and make others push them too, even if he has to hack their hand off to do it. He's starting to get a lot of recognition and people are writing in by the thousands to their local election boards to get him on the ballot. That's right, letter after letter being written in support of this little candidate who could. A real grass-roots campaign that's starting to really make a difference. Send a message to Washington that we're going to explode all their preconceived notions with a 10 megaton shockwave through the city. Don't delay, write those letters today. The missives are flying. Hallelujah! Hallelujah!
